Suburban Britain becoming “like Desperate Housewives”

Parts of Britain are turning into scenes from the cult American TV drama Desperate Housewives, says Tory home affairs spokesman Chris Grayling.

Vast swathes of the Home Counties surrounding London are now blighted by the sight of middle class professionals lounging about on discounted sofas parked on immaculately kept front lawns. Drug taking is rife in these areas, with the once noble drink Pimms being the intoxicant of choice for the upwardly mobile suburbanites.

“When Desperate Housewives comes to Britain’s streets, it is the upper classes who suffer most. They are the ones who have borne the brunt of a surge in low-brow culture under this government. It is they who struggle to live their lives against a constant fear of aesthetic ghastliness. Far too many of those features of what we have always seen as a US phenomenon are now to be found on the streets of Britain as well.”

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