Brits for Rumpy

Later today the political leaders of the EU’s 27 member states will gather to select the supranational entity’s first president and foreign minister.

Former British prime minister Tony Blair, who was once a leading candidate for the president’s job, is now out of the running owing to his arrogance and gittishness. There is also the fact that most other Europeans despise Perfidious Albion, and enjoy giving the Brits a good kicking whenever the opportunity arises. Fair enough, I suppose.

Blair is also out of favour in Europe as a result of Gordon Brown’s inverse Midas touch endorsement. Dastardly clever move by Brown, that. Still, the Blessed Tony is busy enough filling his boots and tarting himself around the international lecture circuit. The European president will in contrast be expected to work for his supper.

So who should fill the role of European president? Well it’s obvious, innit. In the absence of a sufficiently capable woman candidate, the ideal man for the job is surely Herman van Rompuy. He may not have Blair’s charisma, but the current Belgian prime minister is hard working, intelligent, culturally sophisticated, and – important in a position of leadership in one of the world’s dullest institutions – he possesses a cracking sense of humour.

For example, Mr Rumpy is given to composing haikus…

Hair blows in the wind
After years there is still wind
Sadly no more hair.

If there were to be a popular election for the position of European president (why isn’t there?), Herman van Rompuy would get my first preference vote.

Rumpy for President!