“In the name of the Queen I order you to disperse!”

We could also call this “Doin’ the Copenhagen clusterfuck”.

Climat oprør i København

The above injunction could justifiably be directed at delegates to the Copenhagen climate conference, but was instead issued to the revolting mob which today descended on the Bella Center, intent on occupying the site and adding to the jolly(ness) inside.

Now I love Denmark and its people, and regret no longer being a full-time resident of the country. But I must say that the Germanoscandinavian statelet with what natives claim is probably the best beer in the world does have its peculiarities. I mean, could you imagine a police officer in London ordering the dissolution of a political demonstration with the above form of words?

Actually, it might work, if only temporarily. At least it would give the forces of law and order time to reinforce, until the protesters had finished pissing themselves with laughter.

In the name of a stroppy, chain-smoking children’s book illustrator with a whingeing French husband, or her cousin the dysfunctional mum married to a Greek spiv who likes to spend the family petty cash on the horses? It’s a tough one. Welcome to the not so new Europe.

Royalty aside, the diverse eurotrash assembled on the streets take themselves and their situation with the utmost seriousness. After suffering a few cracked skulls, bruised legs and mangled bicycles, the malcontents did as they were told by Københavns fineste, and skulked off back to the city centre. The wusses. I guess that Copenhagen in December is far too cold and wet for the Italian black block, who can always be relied upon to provide some local warming.

Meanwhile, back at the conference hall in Amager all hell was breaking loose, and Gordon Brown spoke to camera in a vain attempt to calm everyone down. Oh, deep joy.

Time for a little Danish light entertainment

After all, Denmark has enough problems of its own, without being the focus of planetary angst.