The world’s first unauthorised autobiography?

“All memoir is prostitution,”

…says Wikiführer Julian Assange. He should know, for he had his autobiography ghostwritten by Andrew O’Hagan, trousered a half million quid advance, gave that to his lawyers for their services, and then ratted on the deal with Canongate, which went ahead and published anyway.

Assange today

“[Canongate is] in breach of contract, in breach of confidence, in breach of my creative rights and in breach of personal assurances.”

Funny that, given what the creatively right Assange thinks of keeping confidences.

Assange is reported to have added…

“The events surrounding its unauthorised publication by Canongate are not about freedom of information, they are about old-fashioned opportunism and duplicity screwing people over to make a buck.”

So I take it that Canongate has been refunded the book advance? I thought not.

In its latest issue, Private Eye reveals a few details about the latest goings on in the saga of the Blessed Martyr Elric of Melbourne and the Guardian Media Group.

Wikileaks’ recent publication of unredacted diplomatic cables, complete with names, addresses and inside leg measurements of vulnerable sources, political dissidents and serving intelligence agents, follows an attempt at mending relations with the Guardian, with which Assange had fallen out. According to the Eye, all the “gossiping schoolgirl” hacks who had “failed my masculinity test” bar David Leigh were forgiven. Even Nick Davies was pardoned.

This fence mending exercise followed the collapse of Assange’s relationship with lawyers Mark Stephens and Geoffrey Robertson, who were replaced by dour defender of dodgy causes Gareth Peirce. The grim-faced Peirce is said to have advised Assange to drop his antagonistic won’t-get-a-fair-trial-in-Sweden defence. Assange should instead ask the alleged victims of his roving penis to drop their charges.

The Swedish women apparently rejected this approach, hence Assange’s conciliatory approach to Guardian editor Alan Rusbridger, who promptly went on holiday, as did deputy Ian Katz. In a fit of pique, Assange then proceeded to publish all and be damned.

As Private Eye notes, Assange’s friend cupboard is now all but empty.

My heart, it doth bleed.