“A very, very challenging situation”

I am delighted to see the London 2012 Olympic Games turning into a PR clusterfuck, and will be absolutely ecstatic if the event degenerates into a real-life management disaster.

As a sometime resident of southeast London, the Olympic Games are already impacting on my daily life, with Greenwich Park turned into an equestrian sports arena and Woolwich Common a shooting range, local road traffic management in disarray, and large sections of the Greenway and River Lea towpaths north of the Thames closed to pedestrians and cyclists on the orders of the police and that bondvillainous organisation known as LOCOG. We are talking about public paths recently renovated at considerable cost for the benefit of, er, pedestrians and cyclists wishing to walk and ride to the Olympic park.

Now we have confirmation that six sites have been selected for ground-to-air missile batteries. These include Blackheath, where I live, and Oxleas Wood, near the top of Shooters Hill, which as the explosive projectile flies lies a few kilometres to the east of Blackheath.

Oh yes, I feel so secure in the knowledge, if at the same time a teeny weeny bit concerned. For example, when asked whether debris would fall on residential areas if a missile were fired, “Standing Joint Commander” General Sir Nick Parker said:

“I accept that this a very, very challenging situation.”

You don’t say.

What next, the UK government announces plans to put Olympic dissenters under house arrest for the duration of the games, “for their own protection”? An exaggeration, possibly, but if Blackheath is militarised, with missiles deployed in my back yard, this Sitting Local Resident and his neighbours’ freedom of movement will be severely restricted.