To all those Englishmen, Englishwomen and Anglo-childebeest who do not hate themselves, I say:

Happy St George’s Day!

Those who do can go fuck themselves, the miserable buggers. This friendly greeting is brought to you by one of indeterminate nationality who is currently domiciled in England, and quite likes the place and its myriad peoples of all colours and dietary, cultural and sexual preferences.

To celebrate England’s national day, even though the country does not officially exist, I may if the weather holds out this evening join my friends the Blackheath Morris Men. These gentle chaps of advanced age, girth and thinning thatch shall from 18:30 to 22:30 dance outside the Summerfield Tavern on Baring Road, Lee, London SE12.