Pornographer to close newspaper over royal titty pics furore

On the other side of La Manche the UK isn’t called Perfidious Albion for nothing, and I sympathise with French and other European incredulity over the reaction within Britain to publication of topless photographs of the celebrity known as Kate Windsor (née Middleton).

Whatever you think of the appropriateness or otherwise of publishing pictures of a semi-naked Mrs Windsor taken in a semi-public place, the incident is turning into a major clusterfuck for both the royal family and British journalism. The former I couldn’t care less about, but the latter is a subject close to my heart and bank balance. Serious opinion across the royalist-to-republican spectrum has it that Willsandkate™ haven’t got a leg to stand on, and the furore is nothing more than manufactured frothing at the mouth hysteria. Or hysterical drooling. Something like that.

Take, for example, the decision of newspaper owner and sometime pornographer Richard (Dirty) Desmond to close the Irish Daily Star, which last week republished the topless snaps first aired in French celebrity gossip mag Closer. Desmond co-owns the Irish Daily Star, sister newspaper to a UK title of similar name which is a dumbed-down version of The Sun, a tabloid newspaper most famous for its pictures of comely young ladies in various states of undress.

When the scum of the British media industry react with feigned horror to the blurry public exposure of Kate Windsor’s mammaries, from which a future monarch is before long expected to hang, and then said media barons start talking sternly of “morality”, you know for sure that the Leveson Effect has us all firmly by the balls.

Richard Desmond is a total cock.