Relativity for hacks

Earlier this week I was asked by an NUJ colleague to explain relativity theory in terms that as a mere wordsmith she could readily comprehend. I thought about it for a while, and came up with the following brief explanation…

“The speed and efficiency of trade union activity has a strictly limiting value. As this limit is approached, time ceases to have meaning, and space expands to allow for increasing girth due to post-meeting ale intake.”

I trust this settles the matter.